Jan 13 (Var 2)

Not a lot to say tonight; I'm putting in the work. Starting to get tired of the same thing every day though...

Jan 12 (Var 2)

One reason I love playing is that there are few situations where steady improvement from dedicated practice is more evident. I tell my math students this all the time, of course - even compare working practice problems with running scales and arpeggios. But if you sit down at a piano and force yourself to do the work - even if you're not having fun - then you get better. And then it gets fun, because music is amazing and making music is even more amazing.

In college I did an REU program at Texas Tech. And REU is a chance for an undergraduate to spend a month or so doing the things a grad student would do, living and breathing their subject with a small group of like-minded students. Honestly, I didn't get much mathematical value out of that experience, but it was perfectly timed piano-wise. Before the trip I (ill-advisedly) purchased a copy of Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu (who knows if this is a good version). It was so out of my league at the time, but I had no idea (the cashier's comment: "wow, you must be quite good" should have tipped me off) and so I soldiered through that piece. Measure by painful measure. And by the end of the program, I had it, and I also had the knowledge that I could learn just about anything if I was willing to put in that steady work.

I never forgot that lesson, exactly, but I have certainly been ignoring it for a while. It's good to be back at it.

Jan 11 (Var 2)

I had fun with this today. I found something! It's not like it's super-secret or anything, but I'm engaging with this music in a different way than I every have before. I'm already glad I'm doing this project, and knowing that you're reading and listening along is making it even more fulfilling!

So, check this out:

I circled the notes. Like I said, it's not like they're hidden or anything. But they stand alone, too, and it's lovely even without any of the 16th notes. So now I've decided I need to try to bring that out especially clearly. Not happening yet, since...

When I started working on the second half tonight, I recognized my handwriting, and marks that I'd made. But I absolutely did not recognize *any* of the notes. So, it felt like starting from scratch on the second half. It'll probably sound that way, too XD

On the subject of bringing things out subtlely, I want to reiterate that this piece was originally written for harpsichord. A harpsichord works by plucking the string with a quill. I guess there must be some ability for stylistic interpretation on a harpsichord; you can certainly pluck a guitar string in many different ways. But there's no doubt that the piano I'm playing this on is light-years beyond the expressive power of an old-timey harpsichord.

This sounds like it might be a good thing - hey, if Bach didn't put in any dynamic markings, then the performer doesn't have to think about it, right? Wrong. Since the piano can still make them, I still need to think about dynamics, even if my goal is to emulate the evenness of a harpsichord. It's actually quite difficult to play every note exactly the same. 

But if you'll recall from Variation 1, I'm not trying to emulate a harpsichord anyway. In that piece, I was playing with legato and staccato techniques, which aren't available to a harpsichord. Likewise, my goal isn't to play all the notes at the same volume either. There are things that the best pianists can do, to bring out lines within lines, that I would love to be able to emulate. My favorite for that technique is easily Nelson Freire's recording (here) of Chopin's 3rd Sonata and Op 25 Etudes. If you want to know more, come over sometime and we'll listen with the sheet music open and I'll show you what I mean.

OK, based on all this fun discussion the following recording will probably be a let-down. Enjoy anyway! I'm starting to feel pretty good about the first half of this variation.

Jan 10 (Var 2)

Worst recording yet, mostly because I was just. done. Not upset or anything, just finally a little burned out on practicing. It's been a long, stressful first day of classes! Still, I have some commentary for you! I will always come through for you, reader, even when I'm tired and would rather be doing something else. Take a look at this nonsense:

It's the little 4 followed by the little 5 over 2. Those are fingerings. That 4 is sharp, so it's higher, and 4 means ring finger. So you play a D# with your ring finger, and then you play a B with your pinky?? not smoothly, you don't. Or, at least I don't. Maybe you do, if you're Glenn Gould or whatever. And of course it's not just the pinky, you *also* have to use your index finger (the 2) at the same time, as part of a legato run that isn't the same, and also isn't the opposite of what the left hand is doing. 

*This* is finger gymnastics.

By the way, this one feels old to me. Like, there's some chords that sound antiquated; you might overhear them wafting gently from a royal court through a stone hallway kind of antiquated. Parts of this variation really do that for me, how about you?

Let me leave you with some positive commentary, too. Here's some more really cool parallelism. Take a look at the left hand (the bottom staff) right at the beginning:

G-F-G-E then the pattern repeats down a step, F-E-F-D, and again E-D-E-C. Here it is again a little later the middle, but this time it climbs!

Now look again two images up, this time at the top staff. The long E followed by a stutter, then a desceding line. That's the first measure. This theme returns, again reversed, at the end of the piece, and in the *left* hand:

I don't care who you are, that's great stuff.

Jan 9 (Var 2)

Ha! This was a noisy session. Mixers, oven beeps, timers, dishes, dog squeaks - it's been good for my concentration! I'm still not super happy with this "final" recording of Variation 1, and I might come back to it, but I'm feeling the itch to move on, so I did.

Variation 2 is slow and beautiful. And oh so tricky! The left hand is extremely straightforward, but that right hand is doing the work of two. There are two melody lines weaving through each other in this piece, something Bach is famous for. That means often one finger is holding a note while another finger crosses *over* that one to play a moving line. I considered recording just the right hand to give you an idea, but you can take my word for it.

On top of that, sometimes a note that belongs in one of those two melodies is played by the *left* hand. It's usually just one or two notes at a time, and it's kind of unpredictable. This is one of those pieces that you practice one measure at a time. Luckily, those are the ones I'm good at; there's a straightforward plan and I know how to achieve it. I actually have more difficulty with movements like the Aria, which I can just about sight read, because it's less obvious what needs to be done to improve. Not so here; it's clear what needs to be done: finger gymnastics.

This variation has two thematic halves like the first; here is a recording only of the first.

Jan 8 (Var 1)

Ugh. I didn't get the long session in that I had hoped to. Coach says I'm not done with this one yet.

So let's talk about getting out of your head. I have a busy mind; the way I silence it is with distractions. I have not seriously tried meditation; I should. I would be terrible at it right now, and I think the reason why is the same reason I struggle to get through a song without a mistake. What will happen is: I'm playing the song. It's going well. I *realize* that it's going well. That realization snaps me into consciousness, and - whoops I made a mistake. 

The trick to playing well is "flow". It's actually the trick to doing just about anything well. You have to silence the part of your consciousness that is active, and let the "deep self" take over. Wikipedia says it's also called "being in the zone". Athletes know it well; an extreme example is the dreaded yips in golfing. Long distance runners know it well, too. The best can stay in an extended pocket of zone for an incredible amount of time.

Just like everything else in life, getting into a flow state can be practiced. Working steadily, every day, can improve your ability to get in and stay in the zone. Hopefully, anyway! I'll let you know :D

Jan 7 (Var 1)

I'm not quite ready to call this one. It's close, and it's a lot closer before I start the recording. I considered recording the entire session, and just saving the best time through, but my coach told me that would be cheating. Anyway, this is a good, low-consequence way to start working on performance anxiety.

I focused on the second half today; the two parts are similar enough that learning one half makes the other half harder to play. For instance, in each half, the right hand plays a descending arpeggio that is picked up into a scale by the left hand. The first time, you pick it up with the index finger, the second with the middle one.You drill and drill that second finger, and then you accidentally use it when you mean to use the third. And vice-versa. Elsewhere there's an arpeggio pattern in the left hand where you play the same pattern in back-to-back measures, but the fingering changes. Of course. It's maddening. Bach is maddening!

This is not yet final. Here it is: